8 Common Mistakes Divorcing Couples Make When Selling Their Home—and How to Avoid Them
Selling a home during a divorce is very different from a traditional real estate transaction. You’re not simply negotiating with buyers through your Realtor®/CDRE®—you may also be navigating decisions with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, attorneys, mediators, and, in some cases, even a judge. All of this is happening during an already emotional and challenging time.
After working with divorcing couples throughout the Twin Cities, I’ve learned that selling the home is often not the most difficult part. It’s everything surrounding the sale that can make the process complicated.
As a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE®), I serve a unique role in these situations. I’m not “his agent” or “her agent.” I’m a neutral professional focused on protecting the value of the property while helping both parties move through the process as fairly, efficiently, and respectfully as possible.
My goal is to reduce conflict, provide clear guidance, and keep the real estate side of the divorce moving forward—so you can focus on navigating the next chapter of your life.
Here are the mistakes I see most often — and what I'd tell you if we were sitting across the table right now.
1. Letting One Spouse Control the Process
This is the big one. In almost every divorce sale, one spouse ends up more "in charge" than the other — maybe they were the one who handled the mortgage, or they're just more comfortable with paperwork. That's normal. What's not okay is when one spouse starts making unilateral decisions: picking the agent, setting the price, scheduling showings, or negotiating offers without the other's input.
Even if your divorce is amicable, real estate decisions need to be made jointly, or at minimum, transparently. A home sale where one party feels steamrolled almost always leads to disputes, delays, or a deal falling apart at the worst possible moment. Part of my job as a neutral agent is making sure both people are informed, consulted, and treated fairly — not just the one who happens to answer my calls first.
2. Hiring an Agent Who Isn't Actually Neutral
I understand the instinct to hire "your" agent — maybe a friend, a family connection, or whoever you used to buy the house years ago. But a real estate agent who has a personal relationship with only one spouse isn't neutral, even if they intend to be. Decisions about pricing, repairs, and offer negotiation all carry more weight — and more room for conflict — when one party doesn't trust the person steering the ship.
A divorce-trained agent (look for the CDRE® credential specifically) understands their role is different here. We're trained to communicate with both parties equally, document decisions clearly, and avoid even the appearance of favoritism. That protects both of you — and honestly, it protects the transaction from falling apart over something that had nothing to do with the actual house.
3. Skipping a Real Valuation and Trusting an Online Estimate
I can't tell you how often I see divorcing spouses anchor their entire negotiation around a Zillow "Zestimate" or a number a friend threw out. Those tools are fine for a rough ballpark. They are not fine for dividing what's often the largest asset in the marriage.
A proper valuation — whether that's a full appraisal or a detailed comparative market analysis from an agent who actually knows your neighborhood — gives you a defensible number. That matters if your case ever goes in front of a judge, and it matters for keeping negotiations grounded in facts instead of feelings.
4. Not Following the Court Order — To the Letter
This one surprises people. Once there's a court order or divorce decree governing the sale of the home, it isn't a suggestion. It might specify a listing timeline, a minimum sale price, how proceeds get split, who pays for repairs, or even who has final say on accepting an offer.
I've seen sales get delayed — and in some cases, seen spouses end up back in court — because someone assumed they could deviate "just this once" from what the order said. If the order says the home lists within 30 days, it lists within 30 days. If it says both parties must approve any offer within 5% of asking price, that's not optional. Read your order carefully, and if anything about the real estate language is unclear, get clarity from your attorney before you touch a "For Sale" sign.
5. Not Naming a Specific Real Estate Professional in the Order
This is something I'd genuinely encourage every divorce attorney and mediator to think about: naming a specific agent — ideally a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE®)-credentialed one — directly in the divorce decree or court order.
Here's why it matters. When the order simply says, "the parties shall sell the marital home," it leaves the door wide open for disagreement over who to hire, which can eat weeks or months. When the order names a specific, neutral, divorce-trained real estate agent, that decision is already made. There's no fighting over whose cousin gets the listing. There's no question about whether the agent is biased toward one spouse. It's already settled, in writing, by the court.
If you're still in the drafting stage of your settlement, this is worth raising with your attorney now. It's a small line in the paperwork that can save you a significant amount of conflict later.
6. Letting Emotions Set the Price
I understand wanting to price the home high out of principle or wanting to price it low just to be done with the process. Neither serves you. Overpricing means the home sits, gathers stale-listing stigma, and eventually sells for less than it would have with a realistic number from day one. Underpricing to "just get it over with" leaves real money on the table — money that's supposed to be split between both of you.
My job is to bring you a number based on data: recent comparable sales, current market conditions, and the actual condition of the home. Not what you wish it were worth, and not what you want it to be worth just to be finished.
7. Not Understanding How the Mortgage Affects Who Can Stay
Sometimes one spouse wants to keep the house — and that's a completely reasonable goal. But keeping the house usually means refinancing to remove the other spouse from the mortgage, and that requires qualifying on one income. I've seen couples agree, in principle, that one spouse will keep the home, only to find out during the process that refinancing isn't actually possible on their own.
Before that decision gets written into your settlement, it's worth having a real conversation with a lender about whether it's financially realistic. I coordinate with trusted lenders regularly for exactly this reason — better to find out in month one than after the paperwork is signed.
8. Poor Timing Relative to Court Deadlines
Real estate has its own timeline — average days on market, closing timelines, inspection contingencies — and divorce cases have theirs. When those two timelines aren't coordinated, you end up with a home under contract but a court deadline that's already passed, or a rushed sale that leaves money on the table because there wasn't time to market it properly.
Part of what I do early on is map the real estate timeline against your legal deadlines, so there are no surprises for you or your attorney down the road.
A divorce is hard enough without your home sale becoming another battlefield. The right process — a neutral agent, a real valuation, clear court language, and realistic timelines — protects both of you and protects the equity you've built together.
If you're navigating a divorce in the Minneapolis–St. Paul area and the topic of the house haven't been settled yet, let's talk before any decisions get made. I'd rather help you avoid a mistake than help you clean one up.
Shannon Lindstrom, REALTOR® | CDRE®
RE/MAX Results
📞 612-616-9714
🌐 www.shannonlindstromrealtor.com
🌐 www.MNDivorceRealEstateExpert.com
🌐 https://www.ilumniinstitute.com/cdre/shannon-lindstrom
