Easing the Transition: Helping Kids Move Between Two Homes with More Confidence and Calm
We are pleased to feature Angie Weber as today’s guest contributor. Angie is a highly regarded Parent Coach, Speaker, and CEO of The Parent Toolbox. She also serves as the Director of the Divorce Support Collective. In this insightful article, Ms. Weber shares practical strategies to support children as they navigate the emotional and logistical challenges of moving between two homes with greater confidence and ease.
One of the biggest emotional hurdles in co-parenting, for both kids and parents, is the transition between homes. Even in the best co-parenting relationships, the back-and-forth can bring stress, confusion, and big feelings for kids.
And while we can’t always change the schedule or how the other home operates, we can create smoother transitions that help our kids feel more grounded and secure-both emotionally and practically!
Some kids act out.
Others shut down.
Some might seem totally fine and then fall apart later.
No matter how your child expresses it, shifting between households means adjusting to a different rhythm, set of expectations, and environment.
The key is let your child know it’s okay to have mixed emotions. Try simple phrases like, “It’s normal to feel off when we switch houses,” or “If you ever want to talk about how that feels, I’m here to listen.” You don’t need to fix it all, in fact you shouldn’t, you just need to make room for it. But do remember, we can validate feelings without accepting behaviors. Holding fair and reasonable consequences are important.
Kids crave predictability, so creating a simple, repeatable routine each time they come back to your house helps them know what to expect and that makes all the difference. This could look like having their favorite snack ready, sharing a quiet cuddle or walk, or giving them time to decompress before diving into questions or responsibilities. The key is consistency. These rituals give them a soft landing and a clear message: you’re home now and you’re safe.
Transitions also feel easier when kids have some sense of control over what’s coming next. Weekly family meetings are a great way to preview the week ahead together. Sit down for just 15 minutes to look at the schedule, note what days they’ll be at which house, talk about anything they need to pack or prepare, and plan in some quality time. You can also use this moment to check in emotionally by asking what they’re looking forward to and what’s feeling hard. The C.A.L.M. Family Planner is a great tool for this. It walks you through a structure that feels simple but meaningful, offering space for planning, feelings, responsibilities, and fun all in one place.
Even if the other household looks very different, you can still create consistency in your home. Stick to familiar routines for meals, screen time, and bedtime. Reinforce your family’s boundaries with kindness and clarity. If helpful, use visual schedules or checklists to help your child feel more in control. The more predictable your home feels, the easier the adjustment becomes.
It’s also important to help your child make sense of the differences between homes. They may struggle with this at times and that’s okay. Rather than getting defensive or critical of your co-parent, focus on building emotional safety. Say things like, “Every house is different. At our house, we do things this way. Let’s talk about what helps you feel your best here,” or “It’s okay that you’re adjusting, what’s something I can do to help you settle in?”
Transitions may never be easy, but with intention and compassion, they can become less chaotic and more connective. And here’s the best part, you don’t have to do this alone or figure it out from scratch- plan ahead, utilize tools, and seek support.
When your child knows what to expect and how to process it, they don’t just survive the transition, they grow through it.
Angie Weber
Parent Coach | Speaker | CEO, The Parent Toolbox
Director, Divorce Support Collective
📧 angie@itsallabalancingact.com
🌐 theparenttoolbox.info
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Disclaimer: The opinions and viewpoints expressed in this guest article are solely those of the author and may not represent the official stance or policies of Shannon Lindstrom.